


A kiss at a party

by MrsluluSpock



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-12 08:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsluluSpock/pseuds/MrsluluSpock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius kisses Remus at a party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Remus entered the common room at about nine –thirty on what he thought was an ordinary Wednesday night, he did not expect a party to be taking place. He was aware that there was a Quidditch match been played that day, but he had thought that a Sirius and James were not that keen on their chances. But from the loud music, toilet paper decorations and general drunkenness he gathered that Gryffindor had won.

“Moony!” Sirius shouted from across the room “where have you been?”

“I’ve been in the library; we have newts in three months you know”

“You mean you missed the match?” Sirius replied, looking a little hurt, not that Remus noticed

“Yeah, sorry.” He said absentmindedly watching a drinking game taking place in the corner “Good one was it?”

“Awww, moony it was brilliant! We were 90 points down ……..”

So came a breath by breath analysis of the match, they were down by ninety points because of the amazing(“must-have been-using-an-illegal-spell”) Slytherin chaser Yaxley, but Sirius had managed to knock him out and rule him out of the rest of the season because of a brilliant timed bulger to the nose at 100 feet in the air, - Remus winced at the violence of this -after this James caught the snitch whilst the rest of the Slytherin team mates were distracted by Yaxley.

“That’s great” said Remus, forcing a smile. He was happy for them, he was, but he wasn’t fond of parties, especially ones in which his best mates spent the whole time snogging girls and not talking to him. He didn’t mind this so much with James and Lilly, after all, they were made for one another, and to be honest the likelihood of Pete of finding a girl was as likely as Remus being picked for the Windborne Wasps; it was Sirius he couldn’t stand, getting in with any girl who showed the slightest bit of interest. He sighed as he watched Sirius be distracted from his conversation by Miranda Yates, a supposedly pretty girl who always wore a short skirt, who started to fawn over him. He was about to moan to James about it but when he turned round he realised his friends lips were stuck to Lilly’s. Instead, he made his way over to a table laden with drinks, got one and sat down on an empty couch. Peter came and sat next to him. Who promptly decided to give his analysis of the match, which was mainly similar to James and Sirius’s rendition but with added praise for his friends.

“They were brilliant, Remus, you really should have seen it!” the awe struck peter said

“Yes, peter, you said. Three times.” Remus murmured, wondering how much longer he would have to put up with this.

“Oi, Pete budge” Sirius had suddenly appeared in front of them, swaying slightly, two bottles of beer in hand. Peter obliged and instead sat on the floor. “No, just clear off will you?” Peter again obeyed Sirius’s wishes and disappeared into the crowd of partying Gryindors, looking a little dejected.

“Why did you do that?” Remus asked, fearing for Pete’s feelings

Sirius shrugged “he was bugging you, and you’ve been nursing that butter beer for ages. Brought you a better drink.” he flopped down beside him and gave him a bottle. Remus took a sip, it was strong  
.  
“No, I’m alright you have it” he said feeling quite pathetic

“Oh go on, moons.”

“I can’t; I want to get up early”

“Why? It’s a Sunday!”

“I need to go to the library” he muttered

Sirius laughed at this but then caught Remus’ eye and stopped.  
“nah, come on you need to relax a bit” he laid his arms over the back of the sofa, one arm near Remus’ neck, and spread his legs out wide “you work too hard Remy”. At this Remus took a few mouthfuls and Sirius smiled. Remus liked to see him smile; he had two dimples in his cheeks when he did.

“Why are you trying to get me drunk anyway?” Remus joked quietly, but regretted it when he saw Sirius’ face colour a little. To break the awkward pause Remus took several more swigs of whatever it was that Sirius had brought him. Just then, Miranda Yates reappeared and, complaining that there was nowhere to sit, sat on Sirius’ lap. Remus couldn’t stand the way she was looking at Sirius, like he was a newborn puppy or something, he thought, so he left for the dormitory without saying another word. 

There he grabbed a book from his bag which he had been reading in the library and started turning the pages furiously, pretending to read. Sat on the floor his back resting against his bed, He didn’t really know why he was so annoyed and that bugged him too, it was just infuriating when his mates would rather get off with girls then talk to him. He wished he was back in the library. He was thinking this when Sirius entered the room.

“Hey, Remy, there you are!” said Sirius, evidently pleased “why did you leave?”

Remus muttered something about “hating parties”

“Thought you’d say that, so I brought the party to you” he said gleefully, and before Remus could protest, Sirius was sat beside him. He then waved his wand and a bottle of wine and two drinking glasses appeared beside them.

“That’s really quite impressive you know”

Sirius grinned again which sent butterflies through Remus’ stomach. They began to drink the wine.

“But what about your friend…Miranda, Was it?”

“Who?” Sirius looked blank “oh her. Yeah well, she only likes me ‘cause I knocked Yaxley out. Cant be bothered with that” Remus felt relieved for some strange reason, but he did his best to ignore this strange sensation.

“But…wouldn’t you have a better time with her?”

“I don’t think so; she’s a bit of an idiot… Anyway….I sort of like someone else”

“Oh,” Remus said disappointed, gulping more wine “why don’t you find them then?” he turned back to his book.

“I have”

Remus looked at Sirius, who leaned towards him and kissed him softly. Remus was surprised, not only because of what was happening but because he was enjoying the sensation of his best friend’s lips moving against his. Sirius’ hands had somehow made their way around his body; one was on his lower back, the other by his face, his fingers in his hair. Remus moaned, which made Sirius kiss him more eagerly. 

All too quickly though, it was over, as James came bursting through the dormitory closely followed by Lilly to be sick in their bathroom. The unpleasant sound of retching filled the room and Sirius’ arm was still wrapped around Remus’ waist but he was quick to shrug it off. Remus stood up and walked over to the bathroom, taking care not to look at Sirius as he did so. As he entered the room, James was throwing up into a toilet. Lilly was doing her best to soothe him by rubbing his shoulders. Remus asked her what happened.

“There were some Slytherin crashers, they got into a fight with James called him a “mudblood lover” so James cursed him, but it was rebounded back on him.”

“You mean those jerks are still down there?” came Sirius’ voice from the doorway, his eyes fixed on Lilly. He looked livid.

“unfortunately so” at this Sirius turned on his heel and marched out of the dormitory muttering under his breath as he did so.

“Everything…ok?” Lilly asked Remus

“Yeah, yeah, course it is. Why wouldn’t it be? Remus replied turning his back on the scene and looking through his immense pile of books. “Erm, I think I saw something about an anti-sickness spell in here” he was now searching through the spell chapter in his defence against the dark arts textbook. 

“A spell? Wouldn’t a potion be better...if we could get him to Madam Ponfrey…?” James moaned at this suggestion his head still face down.

“No, if a sickness is caused by a spell its more effective to use a spell to cure it…here we are …expello morcausa!” he said wand pointing at James. There was a flash of white light and James stopped throwing up, and he looked up at Remus still looking white and pasty. 

“Thanks mate” he said weakly

“I think James owes you an apology, it was time well spent in the library, Remus” Lilly said beaming at him. “would you be able to help me get him into bed?”  
They then half carried half dragged James from the bathroom back into the bedroom, during which time James made some inappropriate jokes along the lines of “all three of us?”. Lilly merely rolled her eyes.

“Of course… it didn’t help that he was already drunk when this happened” she said as she took his shoes off, and pulled the blankets over his body.

“A few months ago, you would have chastised him for …what was it you said that time he cursed Snape for trying to talk to you in Defence? “fighting your battles” or something?” Remus remarked when she kissed him on his forehead and pulled the curtains around him as James drifted off to sleep, “now look at you, what changed?”

“I realised that he honestly loves me,” she said openly, looking into Remus’ eyes as she did so, “that and he’s not as much of a big headed prat as he used to be.” She shrugged. “Anyway shall we go back downstairs? I think Sirius must have got rid of them by now.”

Remus felt embarrassed at Lilly’s mention of his name, he didn’t want to think about what had happened between them at all, which meant he didn’t want to think about him at all; he felt deeply ashamed at letting it happen. 

“Er, no. I think I’ll go to bed too”

“You sure?”

“Yeah I want to get up early tomorrow”

“Ok then, if that’s all you’re worried about…” 

What did she mean by that? Does she know? How can she know? These thoughts raced through Remus’ mind, while Lilly smiled and waved goodbye to him as she left the room. He tried not to worry about it when he got into bed, by then James was snoring loudly. Remus tossed and turned for what felt like hours, churning over what had happened in his mind. It was a mistake,  
A damm good mistake though,  
But still it was wrong. I mustn’t let it happen again.  
You want it to happen again though don’t you? You want to feel Sirius press his body up against yours…  
No, no, I can’t think of him like that he’s my best friend  
He could be a friend with benefits…  
NO, no it’s not fair on him  
This debate raged through his head and every time he thought he had come to the sensible decision not to pursue it, he remembered how the kiss felt, the warmth of his lips, the way his heart hammered as Sirius put his arm around him, running his fingers through his hair….he was remembering in how it felt for about the tenth time that night, when he heard the door open. His heart stopped. Was it Sirius or Pete? Please be Pete, please be Pete, he repeated in his head, being as quiet as possible.

“Remus?” oh Merlin, it was Sirius “Remus are you awake? I need to talk to you”

He’s sobered up a little, Remus thought as Sirius had pulled back the curtains around his bed. Sirius surveyed Remus’ apparently sleeping form, but he wasn’t fooled.

“Remus I know your awake because you’re not snoring” he said sitting down at the end of his bed and poking him in the side.

“Ow!” came the noise from the disgruntled Remus; he sat up rubbing his side “I don’t snore.”

“Yes you do!” Sirius laughed “well, not as loudly as James, but you make these cute little grunting noises in your sleep…like a little puppy or something” Sirius grinned again, and despite the dim light Remus could still see the dimples in his cheeks. He had the maddening desire to reach out and touch them, he was so close. He instead decided to try to change the subject of conversation, because this was very dangerous ground.

“Where’s Pete?” he asked stupidly trying to sound causal and not looking at Sirius

“Passed out in front of the fire place”

“Oh”

“Sometimes you talk in your sleep too” he whispered

“Now I know your joking” Remus smiled

“No, no, you do.” Sirius said seriously “sounds like your begging most of the time, “no, no, please” that sort of thing…  
”  
Remus was mortified by this, he hated to appear weak in front of his friends and he desperately tried to hide his fears in front of them, but he obviously couldn’t control what happened in his dreams. Why is he telling me this?

“You don’t know how many times I've lied awake, listening to you and wanted to…” he trailed off, looking at nothing in front of him.

“What did you want to do?” Remus asked quietly, leaning towards Sirius. Sirius replied by kissing him, he leaned into Remus pushing back down onto the bed until he was lying on top of him. Remus seemed to be enjoying himself, running his hands up and down Sirius’ spine until he suddenly became tense when Sirius turned his attention to Remus’ earlobe

“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re not enjoying yourself” Sirius whispered in Remus’ ear

“er, n-no” said Remus trying to get his breath back, he watched Sirius' dimpled smile fall inches above his own lips “no, I mean, I did enjoy it” 

Sirius grinned again and leaned in for another kiss, but Remus pushed him away.

“I can’t do this”

“Its all right, we don’t have to…we can take things slow”

“No! Its not that, I can’t do this at all…it’s wrong!” Sirius looked as though he were about to hit him, but just got up and left the room, Remus thought he heard a sob before the door slammed behind him.

“Whashappninow?” James grunted


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius didn’t often cry, but now the common room swam before his eyes. He ran through the after-party debris and crawled through the portrait hole banging it shut behind him, leading the fat lady to protest with a “Do you mind?!” shouted after him. His stumbled through the dark corridors till he reached a bathroom. He let the taps run at the nearest sink he came to. Bent over it he gripped it for support as the emotion overcame him, and sobbed uncontrollably. It wasn’t the first time he had been rejected of course – his family had thrown him out over a year ago now, but it didn’t hurt like this. This was the worse pain he had felt in a long time; fierce and sharp, it had spread throughout his body, from his chest up into his throat and down into his gut. He splashed his face with the water to wash away his tears, and tried to compose himself with steady breathing. He leaned his back against a wall and wondered what he should do now, “there was no way I’m going back to the dormitory”, he thought as he let his body slide down the wall until he was sat on the floor. He was so tired he couldn’t think straight, so he closed his eyes, “just till I figure out what to do”, he thought…

The next thing he knew sunlight was streaming through the window, he groaned as it hit his eyes and tried to remember why he had spent the night in a bathroom. Then he remembered and it hit him like a stream train. But he picked himself up and tried to brush it off, he was Sirius Black, nothing affected him. 

As he was coming out of the bathroom, he noticed Miranda Yates at the end of the corridor, who was wearing a particularly nice skirt he decided, and so he ran to catch her up.

“Hey Miranda, have you had breakfast yet?”

“Yeah, of course, its half past twelve” she replied

“Oh… do you fancy lunch then?”

“Sure” she smiled


	3. Chapter 3

Lilly watched her boyfriend shovel Yorkshire pudding in his mouth and realised that he was no longer trying to impress her, this was relieving because it meant that he wouldn’t act as much of a prat anymore, but still, she wished he would wipe the gravy off his chin.

“You’re feeling better then?” she laughed as he piled even more food onto his plate

“Yeah thanks to you love” he said leaning in to kiss her, but she pushed him away.

“It’s not me you should be kissing its Remus” 

“What’s that meant to mean?” Remus snapped; Lilly was a little taken a back.

“I just meant it was you who cured James last night not me. What’s wrong with you anyway? You’ve been moody all day!”

“Ha-ha moody Moony! Good one Lil!” peter piped up. They chose to ignore him.

“Sorry, its nothing…I just didn’t sleep well” Remus replied looking at his roast beef at the end of his fork. Just then Sirius walked through the huge doors at the end of the room, arm wrapped around Miranda Yates’s shoulders, his heart stopped and he felt his cheeks redden, and he hoped no one would notice. Luckily, they were far more interested in Sirius.

“So that’s where he was last night, lucky git,” James said, eyeing her up, which prompted a kick under the table from Lilly. “OW!”

“But I thought he didn’t like her” said Pete

“I don’t like her” Lilly said, as if this settled the matter “she’s the reason Greg Harper and Louise Harris split up, and then she was with someone else two weeks later”

Sirius and Miranda were now sat at the far end of the Gryffindor table, when Remus looked up; she was feeding him roast potato from her fork. And for some inexplicable reason he felt the burning desire to knock the fork out of her hands and throw her plate on the floor. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Right, I’m off”

“But, Remus you’ve hardly eaten anything” Lilly said concerned

“Never mind that, don’t you want to hear about pads’ night of passion with Miranda?” James interjected

“Not particularly” he said, trying to sound as casual as possible

“Well I do” he then shouted up the table “Oi! PADS! GET OVER HERE!” before Lilly could stop him. Remus almost ran out of the great hall so was his desire to get away.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus liked books; they were reliable, interesting and quiet. They never acted bizarrely- well some of the ones in the restricted section did but generally not- and they never got hurt feelings. He pilled half a dozen on his desk then set to work with his quill and notepad, trying hard not to think of the mess with Sirius. “I’ll just pretend it never happened and then we can be friends again”, he kept telling himself. But there was a part of him that wanted to happen again, and again and again, before he could stop himself his mind conjured up all sorts of different situations in which he was kissing Sirius. Deep passionate kisses up against walls, short and sweet kisses lying on the grass in the sunlight by the lake, soft warm kisses curled up together in an armchair in the Gryffindor common room, his fingers running through Remus’ hair like the first time….no, he told himself, no, we cant, we’ve got to stay friends… He wouldn’t want me anyway now, but then decided that that was a good thing. All of this made him slower at his work and it was some time later when Lilly came in to find him.

“Hi Remus” she said sitting in the chair opposite 

“Hi” Remus replied

“Have you eaten yet?”

“No, why? What time is it?”

“It’s half past seven, I think there’s chocolate fudge cake tonight, shall we go and get some?”

“yeah ok” Remus smiled, he was glad he had a friend like Lilly right now, she was just kind and supportive, even though she didn’t know what she was being supportive for. They went down to the great hall and had their dinner, and got into a conversation about their different subjects and how well they were prepared for the newts when the rest of the marauders entered the great hall. He noticed this but then tried not to look at them. He stole a look at Sirius, who glared back at him for a second then turned away. James was his usual jovial self as he sat next to Lilly, greeting her with a kiss. 

“Where have you been all day moony?” Pete asked sitting next to him

“Let me guess, the library ?” James asked sarcastically

Remus didn’t answer him.

“For Merlin’s sake moony, you need to start having fun! You know, life experience…cursing Slytherins behind their backs… throwing dungbombs into Filchs’ office… getting slapped in the face by a girl…staying up all night drinking under the stars… ”James had a wide-eyed look upon his face as he said this, Remus began to get frustrated. James never thought about work.

“Yeah well, moony is incapable of having a good time isn’t he? He'd much rather be reading about things than actually experiencing them” Sirius remarked, helping himself to cheese and onion pie.

“You don’t understand, do you?” Remus shouted across the table at Sirius, suddenly very angry.

“No I don’t!” Sirius shot back

“I’ll never be able to hold down a job for more then a month because of what I am, I have to work twice as hard as you lot here for half of the returns!” and with that he got up to leave

“But Remus, the fudge cake!” Lilly shouted after him as he stormed out of the hall. Sirius watched him leave, frowning slightly. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Pete asked completely bewildered by what had happened.

Sirius shrugged and continued eating his lunch, and tried to think of Remus as pathetic and overly sensitive, but he couldn’t. He was still angry with him at his rejection but at the same time thought he just as adorable as he always had. So he was still in love with him despite hating him, which was a very annoying situation to be in. As he churned all this over in his mind, he lost track of the conversation, when he came to Lilly was asking him something.

“Sirius, are you sure you don’t know what’s wrong with Remus?”

“Why should I know? I’m not his mother,” Sirius responded “near his time of month I s'pose” James and peter laughed at this, but lilly merely raised her eyebrows at him. This infuriated Sirius, “what right has she to stick her nose in? stupid cow”, he thought. He didn’t want to be around her any more.

“I’m gonna find Miranda” he muttered, standing up. 

“Where are you taking her?” James asked

“I thought the astronomy tower with a bottle of wine”

“Ooooo nice one” James grinned “be back for eleven though”

“Yes dad” Sirius said as he swaggered out of the great hall


	5. Chapter 5

A short time later, Sirius sat in the astronomy tower looking up at the night’s sky, bewitched to see through any cloud cover so that the entire nights’ sky was always visible; it was a very romantic spot, as long as there were no classes going on of course. His arm was wrapped around Miranda’s and he tried to fool himself that he was happy, but it wasn’t working, all he could think of was Remus and how upset he had been earlier.  
“Which one is the dog-star?” Miranda asked him, she as annoyed at his lack of conversation. Sirius lazily pointed it out to her.

“It’s very pretty”

He took another swig of wine, “ugh, why do I keep conjuring this stuff?” he thought, just then Miranda kissed him, ah, this is why. She had her hands around his neck, pulling him towards her, “her kiss is suffocating”, Sirius thought as he somehow ended up lying on top of her. He ran his hand up her bare thigh, but stopped himself. All he could think of was Remus, how much he wanted him, how much he loved him. This made him all the more miserable; he couldn’t even get laid now.

“What’s wrong baby?” Miranda cooed,

“Nothing, let’s just call it night ok?”

“Why?” Miranda asked 

“We’re going a bit fast aren’t we?” Sirius was desperately trying to remember the excuses girls had given him over the years

“Oh ok” Miranda replied, a little confused to say the least

“I’ll see you again tomorrow” he said kissing her on the cheek and getting up to leave. As Miranda watched him go, she was glad that she was a least sure she was going to get a second date out of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Sirius walked back into his dormitory later that night and was surprised to see that his friends were still awake; it mustn’t have been as late as he thought it was. James and Peter were sat in the middle of the floor playing chess. Peter looked as if he were about to explode through concentration sitting crossed legged in front of the game, eyes fixed upon it; James by comparison, was far more relaxed lying on his side propped up on one arm and eating an apple. Sirius was relieved that Remus didn’t appear to be there. 

“Back early aren’t we?” James asked

“Yeah, well” Came the ambiguous response, as he sat down in between them, carefully dodging the captured chessmen (mostly Peter’s).

“Aha!” peter put James in check, so James lazily took his knight and peter made a noise like a wounded animal.

“Well…” James made an “elaborate” gesture with his free hand as he bit into his apple.

“Well what?”

“Di-oo-geh-ome?” James responded spraying Sirius with apple.

“Gross prongs” said Sirius wiping himself down. “You what?”

“Did you get some?” James asked putting peter into check.

“good thing Lilly didn’t hear you say that” Remus had appeared at the bathroom doorway, having just had a shower he was shirtless and his hair was wet, beads of water were dripping down his torso. Sirius took note of all this then turned away and swallowed.

“You tell her and I’ll kill you” James laughed throwing Remus’ pyjama shirt from his bed at him “ And put some clothes on. Go on pads”

“Well, they don’t call her “easy Miranda” for nothing, that’s all I’m saying” he gave James a high five and Remus felt utterly miserable.

“You slept with her?” he asked fuming as he changed for bed. James finally put peter out of his misery and they began to pack up.

“Yes I did” Sirius lied through his teeth.

“Was she good?” he asked, peeling back the covers on his bed.

“She was brilliant” he replied, twisting the knife in Remus’ wounds.

“Well I’m glad you had a goodtime Padfoot” Remus said, and with that, he pulled the hangings round his bed shut, buried his face in his pillow and sobbed silently. 

James, who was mystified by this, threw Sirius a questioning look, Sirius just shrugged avoiding James’ gaze. He himself got ready for bed without saying another word. It was then James decided that there was something odd going on between his two best friends.


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next few days, Remus and Sirius spent their time avoiding each other and being indifferent, or worse trading swipes and insults. James was initially hesitant to get involved, believing that they would “sort it out for themselves”, as he kept repeating to Lilly. Lilly remained unconvinced however. James finally changed his mind after an eventful potions lesson.

The Gryffindor students taking advanced potion classes shared their lessons with the Ravenclaws, and Professor Slughorn always wanted them to partner with someone from the other house, “for the development of inter-house relationships” apparently. This meant that Remus was partnered with Ben Peacock, a tall dark haired young man who had very recently split up with his boyfriend, a fellow Ravenclaw. During the lesson Peacock began to openly flirt with Remus, putting his hand against his to show Remus how to properly cut mandrake root, helping Remus remove yellow gunge from his hair when a neighbouring cauldron exploded and generally complementing and touching Remus whenever he had the chance. Sirius watched all this from the opposite table, which made him very slow and clumsy (much to the annoyance of his partner), almost cutting his finger off during the cauldron incident.

Remus was just embarrassed by this attention, but at the same time it meant he was able to show Sirius that he wasn’t the only one who had other admirers – not that he had any intention of pursuing it , because this would be wrong – but he got a strange satisfaction from knowing that this would make Sirius jealous. 

In the corridor after class Remus packed up his things quickly and left with his friends, but Ben caught up to Remus.

“So Lupin,” he put his hand on Remus’ shoulder, “can I see you tonight?” Lilly stopped a few yards away and waited, which caused James, Sirius and Miranda to wait too. 

“Er… I can’t…” Remus responded, trying to figure out what to say. He noticed Sirius was glaring at them both; Miranda was doing her best to try to distract him from them.

“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you don’t swing that way” he whispered “everyone knows your bi”

“Was it that obvious?” Remus was mortified by this, not just what he was saying but because of the fact that he was doing it in front of his friends; including Sirius who appeared to be trying to listen in. Ben worsened the situation by leaning closer to Remus and placing his hand on the wall behind him, to trap him. Sirius was staring so intently at them at this point that James called him a pervert, but he didn’t even notice.

“Can I pick you up at seven?” he closed the gap a little more between them, “come on, just say yes”

Remus was looking at his lips the way he had done just before Sirius had kissed him, full of want and curiosity. Sirius couldn’t stand it any longer; he stormed over to confront them, much to the bewilderment of Miranda who tried to drag him away. Before he could be stopped, he had withdrew his wand and pointed it at Peacock, there was a loud bang, and he was knocked to the floor, his nose bleeding. There were loud cries of “Sirius!” and “what the hell?” but Sirius was unsure where they came from, as he stood over Peacock. Miranda simply burst into tears and fled.

“You touch him again and I’ll kill you” he warned. Slughorn must have heard the commotion because reappeared from the classroom and gave Sirius detention starting immediately. He also told Remus to get Peacock to the hospital wing, much to Remus’ embarrassment.

“What the hell was that about?” James asked as he watched a very red faced Remus walk down the corridor supporting his bloodied potions partner.

“You honestly don’t know?” Lilly asked half mockingly, half sympathetic.

“No! All I know is my friends have gone insane”

“Come on, I’ll explain it to you over dinner”


	8. Chapter 8

At first, James didn’t believe it but as Lilly explained her reasoning more, he started to wonder how he had not see it before. They decided that they needed help to sort this mess out and that they should start with Remus, because Sirius was still in detention and may possibly still be very angry when it was over, as James pointed out. Seeing as peter had Herbology all afternoon, they decided to corner Remus in the library.

“Hello moony” James said sitting next to Remus at his desk. 

“Oh hi guys” Remus said trying to sound casual. Madam Price looked over sharply.

“How's “the cock” then?” James asked.

“If you are referring to Ben, he’s fine. Madam Ponfrey fixed his nose, it just whistles a bit when he breathes now.” James snickered at this.

“We need to talk to you about Sirius” Lilly said calmly.

“What about him” Remus’ voices was unusually high as he returned to his book.

“oh, you know, about how much you love him and want to carry his puppies” James joked, speaking as if this were a very ordinary thing to say. Remus turned a very peculiar colour.

“I don’t!” Remus squeaked which made madam price “shh” them irritability.

“Oh come on moons, its obvious!” madam price shot him an angry look and James lowered his voice “well maybe not to me, but to intelligent and beautiful people like lilly here it is”. There was a moment’s pause as Remus considered it, if they already knew there was little point him denying it. 

“It is?” Remus asked quietly, looking up at Lilly, who smiled.

“SO IT IS TRUE!” James shouted. “MERLIN’S BEARD!” Which led madam price attack them a banishing charm forcing them on to their feet and into the corridor, barking after them that they were banned for a week.

“Thanks a lot James!” Remus shouted over his shoulder as he darted down the corridor away from them. James was about to go after him when, lily restrained him and persuaded him that she were better to deal with the situation, as it required tact and understanding. She entered the first bathroom she came to as she heard sobbing coming from within it.

“Remus?” she called opening the door. Remus desperately tried to stop crying.  
“Go away!” he shouted.

“It’s just me, please talk to me. Look James isn’t mad or anything…it’s just he’s a little shocked…I don’t think he really believed me when I told him.” 

Remus was able to cease crying, his breathing was heavy though. He opened the door of the cubicle he was in, his face was stained with tears and so he walked over to a sink and let the hot water run.

“Don’t worry I’ve locked the door, it’s amazing how many people don’t know that spell” she smiled “now tell me what’s going on”

“There’s not much to tell” Remus said simple splashing water onto his face. 

“Tell me anyway” she persisted “did something happen between you at the party?” Remus took a few breathes.

“He kissed me,” he said “just before you and James came in” Lilly nodded knowingly.

“And then later….he came to my bed…” Lilly’s mouth formed an “o” shape, obviously shocked.

“Did you…?”

“No!...no, we just kissed again. But I …I ...” his speech was broken through the steadying breaths he was taking “I pushed him away…”

“Why did you do that? Did you not like it?”

“No! I loved it! It was amazing…but don’t you understand? It was wrong!”

“But why?” Lilly asked unable to understand. Remus looked as if he were about to break down, so Lilly put her arm over his shoulders.

“The wolf…” Remus tried to explain “it’s not fair to make him deal with that….he deserves someone whole …it’s my burden, mine alone…I should never…”

“Did you explain this to Sirius?” she asked after a short time.

“No, how can I? Anyway he doesn’t care about me anymore, he has Miranda doesn’t he”

“He hates Miranda; anyway she’s not speaking to him now.” This lifted Remus’ spirits ever so slightly.

“Don’t you think you should try and explain about how you feel?” Lilly asked, now almost hugging her friend. “You obviously love him Remus; he deserves to know… did you ever consider that he doesn’t care?”

“We’re not talking about something mundane! I could kill him Lilly!” Remus shouted suddenly letting go of her and fighting back another torrent of tears. Lilly was shocked but heard him muttered “I can’t, I just can’t” before quitting the room. “Merlin”, lilly thought as she watched him go, “this is going to be more complicated than I thought”.


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius and James got changed after Quidditch practice. Sirius was lucky that it was allowed to continue with practise after the peacock incident, but Slughorn was renowned for his laxness. James hung back until the rest of the team had gone before cornering Sirius. This was all part of the plan he and Lilly had discussed earlier.

“What the-?” Sirius asked confused as James locked the door of the changing room.

“I need to talk to you Sirius, sit down”

“Ok” Sirius sat on the bench; a little worried he had never seen James look so serious. James walked towards him.

“Throughout all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never kept a secret from me, correct?”

“Of course, mate!” James responded by hitting him on the arm.

“Stop lying you hypocrite!”

“I’m not lying you great prat!”

“You’re a pouf!” Sirius reddened at this.

“No I’m not you're insane” James hit him again “ow!”

“Why did you kiss Mooney then?” Sirius swallowed, and looked guiltily at the floor, he hated lying to Prongs.

“He told you about that?” he asked hesitant.

“No, he told Lilly. It seems like none of my friends trust me anymore” James folded his arms and sat next to Sirius.

“For fuck sake prongs, of course I trust you!” Sirius looked at James desperately, but James avoided his gaze “It’s just it was between me and him that’s all…you were gonna be the first person I told if it worked out, but then he…”he looked at the floor again and swallowed “he rejected me, so I didn’t want to think about it”

James turned this over in his head and said, “But why didn’t you tell me you like boys?”

“I dunno I was confused! It’s not all boys anyway, it’s mainly just him…I can’t stop thinking about him…”

“How long have you felt like this?” James asked; Sirius considered this for a few moments.

“Do you remember when we had a snow ball fight just before we broke up for Christmas last year, and he got covered?”

“Yeah…”

“well when he was drying off I sort of realised how beautiful he was…all the powdery snow was in his hair and he ran his hands through it and it scattered everywhere, some of it was clinging to his eyelashes…it was really nice”

“So you fell in love with him when he almost got hyperthermia?”

“It was other stuff too, like that time he stood up to Malfoy and hexed him for shouting something at me, that was really sexy…not to mention that time I walked in on him in the shower-” 

“Whoa, ok perhaps I don’t need to know everything”

“Sorry mate” Sirius looked at the floor again. “And its little things he does too, like when he laughs, when he really laughs his eyes twinkle and he crinkles his nose and he flings his head back and really goes for it! Or when he’s annoyed at me or you for doing something stupid he won’t say anything but you can tell he’s pissed because he keeps making this adorable clicking sound with his tongue-”

“Oh Merlin, I hate it when he does that! You like it? You really do like him don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah I do, I’m not sure how it started, it just sort of snuck up on me; not that it matters now anyway, seeing as he hates me”

“No he doesn’t”

“What do you know” Sirius responded putting his head in his hands, James put an arm over his shoulders.

“Because my gorgeously brilliant girlfriend had a little chat with him earlier, and your name came up….”James continued to tell Sirius the reported conversation


	10. Chapter 10

Because of his weeks ban from the library, Remus could no longer seek refuge there. Instead, he decided to study in a disused classroom on the seventh floor, it was small and a little dusty, but it was quiet and this was the main thing. he stood by the small window for a moment, it’s a nice view, he thought, looking down at the grounds and the Forrest; if he turned his head he could even see the Quidditch pitch where James and Sirius….that horrible guilty feeling rose within him again and he sat down on a chair facing away from the window. He picked out a few books from his bag and began to make notes.

Sirius ran back to the dormitory still in his Quidditch robes and snatched the marauders map from James trunk. He quickly scanned it intently for Remus’ name. Finding it, he left as quickly as he had entered, and burst into Remus’ classroom a few short moments later.

“I need to talk to you” Sirius said moving purposefully towards Remus, in between the dozen or so desks that were in between them. Remus was startled and uncomfortable. He never knew what to say to Sirius now at the best of times, let alone when he looked so strange and angry, striding towards him in his Quidditch robes that were dripping with mud. He put down his quill and tried to remain calm, even though he really wanted to run out of the room. 

“What is it?” he said as Sirius stood next to him.

“I love you” Sirius blurted out. Remus gaped at him, but then became angry, for reasons that weren’t even clear to him. “Why is he saying this now? Is he trying to make a fool out of me?” Remus got up and walked away from him.

“No you don’t” he said scornfully, looking at the wall.

“Yes I do, you stupid prat, and I'm pretty sure you love me too.” Sirius moved towards him again looking at his face. Remus decided not to respond to this.

“If you love me, why did you sleep with Miranda Yates the night after you kissed me?”

“I didn’t” Sirius shrugged, “I just said I did ‘cause I wanted to make you jealous, just like you did with that cock” Remus blushed at this an looked up at Sirius, he was very close. 

“Well, that was idiotic” he said glaring at Sirius.

“Yeah well I’m in love aren’t i?” Sirius shrugged.

Sirius looked down at Remus’ lips, they were quivering slightly and needed to be kissed, he leaned in but Remus moved away.

“I can’t, I just can’t” Remus said close to tears, “I’m sorry, it’s not fair on you” he back away from Sirius and leaned against the wall for support.

“Don’t give me that crap” said Sirius, anger rising in his voice “I don’t care about the wolf, I love you”

“You don’t know what you’re taking on” Remus mumbled his eyes swimming.

“We’ve been helping you for three years now- I know damm well what I’m taking on. You just don’t want to be happy do you? – because you don’t think you deserve happiness because of what you are” Remus had begun to cry now, but this made him more frustrated, he hated people seeing him weak “I’m right aren’t I?” Sirius said stepping towards him.

“No you’re not!” Remus pushed him away, but Sirius just put his arms around him and held him close to him, Remus struggled for a bit but then gave in and sobbed into Sirius’ shoulder. After a while Remus steadied his breaths and they stood with their foreheads touching their arms around each other. 

“I know you’ve been able to handle it this far” Remus said quietly gazing into Sirius’ eyes “but….I’m worried I might hurt you, it’s always the people who are closest to you -”

“You do love me then” Sirius interjected. Remus grinned. “Say it, tell me you love me”

“I love you”

Sirius kissed him again and it was heaven, the warmth, the intensity, the gentleness of it all rolled in to one was amazing. Remus broke apart and again backed away from him.

“But I just don’t know how this is going to work out” he said mournfully.

“For Merlin sake Remus, there’s nothing to work out!” Sirius was very annoyed with him now, “we’ll carry on like we have been doing, and I’ll do it on my own when we’re older. I promise I’ll never let you hurt me or anyone else!” he with a sincere look upon his face.

“How are you going to do that exactly?” Remus asked hesitantly

“I dunno…I’ll lock you in the kitchen,” Remus smiled at this idea “or we’ll live in the country with no other people around for miles…”

“You’ve thought about this then?”

“What a future with you? Of course” he said confidently “or I could rig some chains up in our basement-”

“That sound like fun” Remus giggled and turned red.

Sirius moved towards him pinning him against the wall.

“You dirty fuck-” Sirius said 

“Exactly” replied Remus biting his lip. They kissed again; rougher this time, Sirius pressed his Remus’ body against the cold wall before pulling back again. 

“You trust me then?” he asked cautiously.

“Yes I do, I’m sorry I ever doubted you” Remus said his arms around Sirius’ neck “and I’m sorry for the past few days, how can I make it up to you?”

“I can think of a few ways” Sirius grinned before kissing him again


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, Sirius awoke before anyone else in the dormitory and smiled as he remembered what had happened the day before. He got up and walked over to Remus’ bed, he was sleeping, his chest gently rising and falling. One hand was raised near his cheek that he rested his head on, so that his face was seen in profile, the other rested on the top of his waist. He clasped that hand and leaned down to kiss his lips. Remus stirred and looked up at Sirius his eyes fogged with sleep, then he came to and with his other hand pulled Sirius down to kiss him again.

“Good morning” Sirius said as they parted.

“Mmmm good morning” Remus replied and they carried on kissing, sweet and soft kisses. Sirius was going to sit on Remus’ bed clothes when Remus pulled them away and said, “Get in”

“You sure?”

“’course I’m sure, I trust you remember” Sirius climbed in and put his arms round his boyfriend.

A short time later James and peter awoke to the sound of a giggling Remus. 

“You guys didn’t waste much time” James said lazily, Peter just turned white.

“We’re only cuddling” Remus said defensively in between giggles, while Peter ran to the toilet.

“No-one bothered to tell Pete then?” Sirius asked obviously amused.

“Oh probably not…”James said, Sirius grinned at this and decided to be even more enthusiastic with Remus, moaning louder, which made Remus giggle louder. Gagging could be heard from the bathroom. At this point, Lilly entered the room.

“Hi guys, is it ok if I use your bathroom to put my make-up on? Zoe’s having a bath and she won’t let anyone else in” she said crossing the room, clutching a small bag in her hands.

“I wouldn’t Lil’” James warned “Pete’s having a touch of homophobia”

“What?...oh” she glanced round the room and noticed Remus and Sirius and smiled. “Well I’m sure once he’s over the shock…he’ll be ok with it”

“He’ll have to be” James said pulling Lily into his own bed they too kissed for a while but she said she had double Arithmancy and needed a good breakfast to face it, so had to go soon.

“You do too Remus” she called over to him.

“She right you know” breaking away from Sirius’ lips and sitting up.

“No, don’t go” Sirius protested grabbing him round the waist and kissing his neck “don’t leave me”

“Sorry puppy I have to” he said summoning clothes and putting them on, Sirius watched, sat on the edge of the bed. Before leaving Remus cupped Sirius’ face in his hands told him that he loved him and kissed him again. Lily kissed James and both couples arranged to meet at dinner. After they left Sirius collapsed on Remus’ bed, the crimson covers askew now, he covered his face with his hands.

“It’s all right Pete, you can come out. Remus has gone” then looked over at his friend “you’ve got it bad haven’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah I have” Sirius murmured

**Author's Note:**

> I invented the spell.


End file.
